Dear Diary
by freaky x-men gurl
Summary: Explore Rogue's fellings in this diary-type story. Find out what she goes through every day, trying to fit in. PG-13 for some cursing.
1. Monday, January 8th, 2003

Disc: I own nothing.  
  
Hello everyone. This is a diary-type story, just to tell you incase you don't like stuff like that. Anyway, who better than Rogue to express her feelings? Please review!  
  
Monday, January 8th, 2003.  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
Today was like any other usual day in my boring life. Got up at 6. Trained in the danger room. Went to school. Came back. Did homework. And now I'm writing.  
  
Today I noticed that our suits make us look fat. Especially Jean.  
  
I tried to get Scott to notice me. But I just can't seem to get him to like me. He likes Jean and that's that. But why can't he just look at me that way? I liked him from the start. His glasses make him seem.so.mysterious. But Jean.  
  
Jean. Jean, Jean, Jean, Jean, Jean, Jean, Jean. She's so perfect in every single way. She can fight. She's beautiful. She's smart. I mean, what guy wouldn't want her? She's just so perfect. Why can't I be like her? Maybe then Scott would notice me.  
  
Maybe he could ask me to the up-coming dance if I was more like Jean. Maybe a lot of guys would ask me. Maybe I would just go by myself. As usual.  
  
Ever since everyone found out about mutants, none of us has had much friends. I didn't have much friends to begin with, but now it's like no one can look at us without laughing or being scared.  
  
Kitty is sitting on her bed right now annoying me with laughter and her talk. She's been talking to Lance for an hour now. It's so annoying the way the two talk so much.  
  
It's also annoying the way Scott and Jean flirt with each other. Why don't they just admit it? They fucking love each other. They're both over 18. Why don't they move off and get married. Maybe have a couple of babies or something.  
  
Why do I keep carrying on and on about Scott and Jean? I should to focus on school. Or Gambit.  
  
I know he doesn't notice me, but I think I really like him. Even if he did try to blow me to pieces. He's just so charming and his eyes are beautiful even if they are eerie.  
  
I wonder what it would be like to kiss him. Wonderful, probably. I wonder what it would be like to kiss Scott. Oh, god. There I go again.  
  
Why am I even wondering about these things? I will never be able to kiss either one of them. Ever.  
  
Well, it's time for dinner. I just love Ororo's cooking. More tomorrow, diary. 


	2. Tuesday, January 9th, 2003

Disc: Don't own ANYTHING. The poem later is written by Alan S. Tomson.  
  
Please review this chapter!  
  
Tuesday, January 9th, 2003.  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
Same old, same old. Danger room was harsh today. We did one of Logan's favorites.  
  
School sucked as usual. Evan and me pulled down a "School is cool!" sign in the cafeteria. Luckily Kelly wasn't even there today.  
  
I don't know why we still go to that school. Kelly hates mutants. Sometimes I get a weird felling. Sometimes I wish Mystique was still the principal.  
  
Don't blame me. She was mutant so how could she hate mutants. Even if she is my mom.  
  
I mean, my adoptive mom. I wouldn't accept her as my mom. Irene is my mom. Not Mystique.  
  
Irene isn't my real mother either. She's my 'mom'. Not my 'mother'.  
  
Let's talk about Scott. He still doesn't notice me. I fell like giving up. But I'm not a quitter.  
  
Maybe in some other planet in the distant future, me and Scott will get married and have beautiful babies of our own. We could be queen and king and exile Jean.  
  
I should really quit having dreams like that. But, let me tell you about it.  
  
Scott and Rogue, no, Scott and Marie are the king and queen of planet Mutania. All mutants live here. Except for a red-head named Jean.  
  
Jean is an evil mutant, she took over Scott's mind and made him exile Marie. But now, Marie won him back and now they both rule.  
  
Scott and Marie have one daughter and two sons, Irene, Kurt and Alex.  
  
All three of them are mutants just like their parents and they are also the most powerful mutants on the planet.  
  
That was my dream. Mutania. Sounds so great. A planet for mutants and mutants only. Humans and Mutants are a bad mix.  
  
I wish I could just see Gambit again. That would be great. No, greater than great. First, I would teach him not to mess with me. Then, I would tell him how much I've been thinking about him  
  
Here is a love poem I wrote for him.  
  
I just want to tell you...  
  
I love you.  
  
If tomorrow never comes, I love you.  
  
If something should ever happen, I love you.  
  
If you are ever hurt and need someone, I'll be that someone.  
  
Because...  
  
I love you.  
  
If we never see each other again, I love you.  
  
If the sun never rises, and we live in darkness, I love you.  
  
If I ever experience the fear of being alone, I'll think of you.  
  
Because...  
  
I love you.  
  
If you look to the stars, remember, I love you.  
  
If you are ever alone, remember, I love you.  
  
If you ever consider suicide, I'll make you reconsider.  
  
Because...  
  
I love you.  
  
If you feel you can't go on, remember, I love you.  
  
If you feel life isn't worth living, remember, I love you.  
  
If you need someone to love or hold, remember me.  
  
Because...  
  
I love you.  
  
Maybe I went over board. Maybe I really like him.  
  
That day when I looked him in the eyes, I could see he wasn't all bad.  
  
Well, its dinner again. 


	3. Wednesday, January 10th, 2003

Disc: I own nothing at all.  
  
Thanks for reviewing!  
  
Wednesday, January 10th, 2003  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
Today must have been the greatest day I have had in weeks. Today, at school, I saw Gambit again.  
  
I didn't go up to him though. He was leaning on one of the trees. Maybe he was waiting for the Brotherhood or something.  
  
I don't know if he even saw me. But I think he did because when I was staring at him, I could have sworn he looked me right in the eyes.  
  
Why does he have to be on Magneto's team? That really fucking sucks. I think he would like it more with us.  
  
It's so funny. I've practically fallen in love with him and I haven't even heard his voice. He looks kinda French. I wonder if he even knows English.  
  
About the rest of my day, well, it kinda sucked. Every day sucks. I want my own room.  
  
Kitty is so annoying. She keeps trying to talk to me while I write. And if I don't, she tries to take my diary from me. I want my own room.  
  
I wonder if the Professor would give me my own room. Probably not. Well, I am 16. I hate to say this but rooming with Jean may just be a little better than rooming with Kitty.  
  
I don't hate Kitty though. She's just annoying. I seriously couldn't imagine rooming with Jean. She might try to make me change my look. Or worse, want to make up on my face.  
  
Well, I'll stick with my own make-up, thank you very much Miss Priss.  
  
Me and Kurt had a little encounter with human-mutant-haters today. His image inducer always fizzes out.  
  
We were walking on the side walk and a huge kid was walking behind us. All of the sudden, it fizzed out and the kid freaked and called poor Kurt a freak.  
  
Luckily for us, Miss Priss came along and changed his memory, so he couldn't remember what he just saw and he wouldn't tell anyone.  
  
I don't know why Kurt hates his real form. I don't care about my appearance, why should he. He knows if anyone EVER calls him a freak or anything, I would personally kick their sorry little ass.  
  
Dinner time again. I swear, Ororo's cooking gets better and better every night. Reminds me of Irene's cooking. Even though she was blind, she could cook like a Queen. 


	4. Thursday, January 11th, 2003

Disc: I own nothing.  
  
Thursday, January 11th, 2003  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
I cannot believe what happened today. I saw Gambit today at school again, but this time, he came up to me. I'm glad to say he can speak English.  
  
And he apologized. He said that he had to fight, or else Magneto would have his neck. And he said he had never seen a more beautiful 'cherre' in his life.  
  
And then, he asked me what I was doing tomorrow, Friday. Nothing, I told him. So he asked me to have dinner with him.  
  
I was thrilled. But I calmly said yes. And when I got home, I ignored the don't-jump-on-the-beds rule and did it anyway.  
  
Let me tell you what happened when Lance saw Remy making a date with me. Oh yea, Remy is his real name.  
  
Lance got all pissed and yelled, 'Why are you going out with an X-Geek? This is against everything we stand for!'  
  
But Remy threw it back in his face and told him he was dating 'that Kitty girl'. Lance just got even more upset. It was actually pretty funny. But Remy told him if he told Magneto, he's off the team.  
  
Wow. He is really charming. I can't wait for our date tomorrow night. I wonder where we will go. Maybe some fancy French restaurant. That would be nice.  
  
I can't wait to find out all about him! Where he comes from, probably France. Maybe even Paris! Maybe someday we can go to the Eiffel Tower.  
  
Maybe when we get married we would move to Paris and start a family. Whoa, I am really getting ahead of myself. I should think about something else.  
  
Well, there's an exam tomorrow in English. It's really not my best class. None of the classes are my best.  
  
I can't wait for school to be out. That's like in...5 months! How am I gonna last?  
  
I haven't mentioned Scott or Jean at all. Until now of course.  
  
Scott has been off my mind for a while. Jean can have him for all I care. And she and him both can go to hell with it.  
  
Well, it's that time again. I think we're having chicken tonight. 


End file.
